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Brahmacary ashrama
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"If I do not practise well my celibate, there is no real Sadhana. Service,
habits, character, etc, everything is Sadhana. Penitence is good, but
sadhana is a complete project. Not only some austere days and then back like
before."
"Brahmacaris should never have a private room and do nonsense there. They
should always share share share and work hard for the spiritual goals. That
is Krishna consciousness. That is what I understand about community life."
"If one really takes bramachary or brahmacarini life seriously, he or she is
as good as a sannyasi. There is no big diferrence. The one who wants to
serve, serves. Also a grihasta can be as surrendered as a sannyasi to his or
her spiritual master."
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Grihasta ashrama
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"In the material world they are always searching for connecting you to them.
They will say that they love you so much and that you should connect to
them. How many men and women are running around looking only for sex?
They do not want to take any responsibility. They do not want fixed partners,
because this means commitment. But to have a fixed partner is the only
purification of sex life. When you are Krishna conscious and living in a
grhasta asram still you will have no sex, unless you are desiring a child.
Otherwise it is also considered of lower quality. A relationship based on
sex is bound to bounds. There is a mixture of pleasure and expectation. A
relationship must be based on higher ideals. If somebody wants to get
married, he has to be ready to protect the other person for the whole life.
It is not a business agreement. You cook for me and I will bring some bucks
(dollars). And then we will have sex and enjoy. And then you fix my socks
and then we have a nice companionship. And you will not feel lonely and I
will not feel lonely. You can scratch my back and I will scratch your back.
In this way we are having a partnership to overcome egotistic loneliness.
That is not a grhasta asram. Grhasta asram is a very serious step of opening
a temple. Or more temples. Unfortunately many people do not understand it
that way. They think, when they get married, they do not have to go to the
temple any more. They think as if they are sufficient. We all need the
devotees and the sadhu sanga. We all need the classes every day. Without the
classes we all go strange."
"The family is also a school of love for us to mature. Responsibility in the family means to see that we all belong together which is the greatest of pleasures. And the vedic scriptures offer a lot of help to understand our position in this world properly. How can we please Him to whom we owe everything? We only have to take that decision: I want to make everything right to be able to fulfill the responsibility of sacrificing the results to the Lord. And of course the parents have to act in a way their children can be proud of."
"Responsibility in the family does only make sense if it is in connection with Krishna. That means to do everything to not make others unhappy and is based on good and illuminated education; an understanding that everything that God created is helpful for our advancement."
"Grhasta (householder) means to complement each other. There is no competition. It is for the pleasure of God and one has to be thankful for the gift of marriage and the children. So if one cannot see that it is not an accident but a great gift of God to have that wife and those children, and if one does not know that the person he is living with means a test for him, helping him to approach God, it is very sad."
"The life of a householder is also a great sacrifice. Because if you do it right it also produces a nice result: Krishna-conscious children. Because you do not receive your children by chance."
"Family life is a first-class responsibility of protection because the children are completely dependent on you. That is more or less the license for sexual enjoyment. Sexual pleasures are attractive but they are not eternally joyful. So the sexual license of a householder is no more but the misunderstanding that he could be the enjoyer. And if one keeps this sexual lust until the end of one's life, he may start the next life right from the beginning."
"The natural situation (the restrictions of old age to enjoy sexual pleasures, etc) shows that sexual activity is not the highest goal of life. Sexual activity as a sacrifice for Krishna is the highest kind of sexuality. And Krsna himself says that this kind of sexual activity is not different from Him. So Krsna is present there. And by practicing it as recommended by authorities in the field of vedic knowledge, even a pure devotee can appear in this world. As it has been the case with Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur and Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Thakur Prabhupada."
"Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur said: A family is the best of all schools. There one learns to work for others and not for oneself. That is why it is very important to get married and to learn how to serve. You may be an exception, if you are a monk who already serves from morning to night."
"People are so confused. In some parts there are 400 or more channels in television. And all of them deal with the same superficial prattle and waste which disturbs the consciousness and contaminates the mind. Family life suffers significantly as conversations are almost stopped. All over the world the superficial and artificial Hollywood lifestyle is being spread and people accept false values as part of their lives. They become like slaves of television and advertisements, at the cost of their natural freedom and spirituality."
"Since the majority of people gets married, there is nothing else than preaching and helping preachers that can safe them from material entanglement. If you want to spend all your time preaching and you are not married, you are very smart to stay that way, because then you can dedicate your life not only to one family but to many more people. I really felt that focusing my life's energy on only one woman and some children would have been a terrible limitation to the intense desire of my heart to associate with and to help many people in this lifetime. That is why I chose to try to serve Srila Prabhupada as a member of the renounced order of life. No doubt, your mind will be tested many times, and your desire to serve your Guru and the people has to be strong enough that you will repeat and keep your wows every day. If you are not sure about that, it is best to stay a brahmacari, because if you should ever change your mind, you can still get married. And if you are already married, be happy about this commitment. Be an excellent husband, father or mother, but do not disconnect yourself from preaching, because that will always give you new life and motivation to go on, to go forward on your path back to home, back to Godhead."
"One should try to keep the family united almost at any cost, but that is only possible if God is in the center of your life. The concern for the welfare of the children - according to my feeling - should be given the priority. The parents already made so many decisions in their lives, but the little children are just starting their life and if they loose their trust in their guardians, they will have much pain to digest. Due to the fault of those who did not behave according to the sweet will of God, to maintain the family united. This is most properly due to ego-problems. And the only way to overcome the ego is to put the higher values over the lower relative considerations."
"Householder life is a process of purification which becomes successful by
giving donations. Giving donations is one of the main duties of
householders, grhastas. And if the amount of the donation hurts it is
exactly the right extend. Because the purification takes place when you make
efforts for higher values. So if the donation does not hurt, if it does not
reduce your sense gratification, one cannot speak of a real sacrifice."
"If you are getting married to somebody who is not interested in Krishna, he
or she is going to steal your energy from God. I call them angels of hell.
They may look angelic, but if they want your energy to use for themselves,
then they are not at all angels. The angels of hell want to suck your energy
for their enjoyment. That is not what grhasta asram is about. Grhasta asram
is a joined effort to live in Krishna consciousness and raise children in
Krishna consciousness. This is a tough job. It's not easy to get your kids
to serve Krishna. If you are not very strong, they will take you as a
pretext for their maya. Parents have to be like gurus or temple presidents."
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